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How can I improve this introduction for an essay?

This essay examines the arguments over whether or not media representations of violence have the effect of promoting violence in real life. This issue is increasingly important in the digital society. The effects of media violence on reality, from simple aggression response to elaborate reenactments, have been studied for years. One thread that is usually common among many studies is the fact that they are controlled in some way. When subjects are prescreened for psychosis, biases, etc, this doesn’t exactly mirror real life where anyone can see just about anything. What’s to say they won’t somehow be affected and if so, how much?

Here are a few pointers on what makes a good essay introduction:

1. First of all, it’s never wise to begin an essay with any phrase like, “This essay will tell you…”. This gets the reader immediately bored, and kind of thrown off. What you want to do is start of with a short story, a quotation, a song lyric, or fable that relates to your topic. Then you explain your attention-getting story/quote etc. with a few more sentences, before proceeding on to your thesis statement (the subject of your essay).
For example, if you wanted to explain the dangers of putting violence in media, you could start off with….
“Imagine a teenager who is exposed to violent video games for hours each day. Imagine him killing aliens, then zombies, then people. Imagine the thrill he feels as each zombie succumbs to his violent force. How long would it take for this violence extend beyond a simple video game and into real life?
In this essay, I will explore the dangers of permitting extreme violence in popular media today, and I will explain the obvious harms this violence can have upon society…” etc.

2. Secondly, you need to make sure your thesis statement is clear in the introduction. Make sure that the reader knows exactly what they’re signing up for by reading your paper. Are you going to convince them that media violence is bad, or good? If they hold strong opinion on either side, they can decide that they want to read your arguments. But they will only decide to read them if your position is clear.
Make sure to avoid, however, starting your paper with, “Violence in the media is bad.” or something similar. This outright defiance of other opinions will make readers uninterested in your paper. Instead “lure” them in by telling a story or quote as mentioned above, and then state your opinion near the close of your introduction.
Be sure to formulate your ideas fully before writing, and decide exactly which opinion you’re going to take.

3. There’s a phrase that goes, “Tell them what you’re going to tell them, then tell them, then tell them what you told them.” I enjoy this quote, because it sums up the basics of how to write an essay. In the introduction, it’s crucial to do a quick run-over of the points you’re going to address in your paper. Three points is a good solid number. For example…

(Start with opening story or something, explain that and then….)

“There are three main issues that concern violence in the media today. First of all, there is the harmful effects violence can have on children. Secondly, there is the issue of the dangers of promoting violence in something and influence as the media. Finally, I’d like to address the problem of whether or not viewing violence in media on a daily basis can affect a person psychologically. In these three points, I will attempt to explain why violence in the media has negative affects on society…. etc.

Then, you restate these three points in three separate paragraphs, and then re-summarize them in your conclusion, ending with your thesis statement (main point) again. By the end of your paper, your reader will more than likely have a clear idea of exactly what you’re trying to convey.

Well, that’s about all I have off of the top of my head as far as essay introductions.

4. I would also recommend reading your paper out loud to yourself to check for grammatical errors and typos, and things that don’t make sense. Great job asking questions at the beginning! Questions are an excellent way to snare someone’s attention.

5. Also, as a final point, repeating part of your story or quote also helps an introduction to seem unified. For example: (by the way this example doesn’t have anything to do with violence in the media. It’s just an example introduction I whipped up to illustrate my point of repeating a quote)

“The renowned author Victor Hugo once said, ‘An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come.’ His words are very relevant today, and are found to be true in many ways. These are concepts I would like to address today. In the world it has been shown that ideas, once formed, can have great consequences, and often cannot be resisted. First of all, I would like to show how ideas have had consequences historically by telling of several events in history that were greatly influenced by a simple idea. Secondly, I would like to explain how seemingly simple ideas can shape a decision, sometimes drastically. Finally, I would like to address the difference between a simple and a grand idea, and how the small ideas can grow into large ones. Through these points, I would like to reiterate that, as Victor Hugo expressed, ideas are things that cannot be resisted.”

So, I hope this helps with your essay! Good luck, and I hope you enjoy essay-writing as much as I do!

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